Teen Relationship Advice: Healthy & Unhealthy Behaviours Explained

Reviewed and endorsed by Dr. Nihara Krause, Award-Winning Consultant Clinical Psychologist.

In order to have happy and meaningful relationships, we need to be able to recognise healthy and unhealthy behaviours. This guide covers what those look like, how to handle problems, and how to end a relationship safely.

Think of a relationship like a pie: for it to work, you need a few key ingredients. These are:

1. Honest Communication
2. Healthy Boundaries
3. Trust
4. Respect
5. Compassion

1. Honest Communication

Open, honest, and safe communication is fundamental to any healthy teenage relationship. This means:

• Talking to each other openly
• Being honest with yourself about how you feel
• Speaking up if something is bothering you
• Respecting what each of you has to say — which sometimes means agreeing to disagree

2. Healthy Boundaries

Learning to set healthy limits, or boundaries, is essential for positive relationships. Think of it like a game: without rules, things get confusing. Relationships need agreements, too — not strict rules, but reasonable, safe understandings about how to treat each other.

A healthy relationship should not prevent you from:

• Spending time with your friends
• Enjoying hobbies you like
• Having privacy when you want it

3. Trust

A positive relationship is one where both people feel equal and respected. This includes:

• Trusting each other
• Giving each other the benefit of the doubt

4. Respect

Everyone's wishes and feelings have value in a relationship. Respectful behaviours include:

• Making an effort to understand each other's point of view
• Avoiding insults
• Not putting each other down

5. Compassion

Showing kindness and compassion helps both people feel safe and secure. This looks like:

• Being supportive of each other's goals and dreams
• Listening when things are difficult for the other person

Unhealthy relationships are characterised by imbalance, control, and disrespect. Watch out for these warning signs:

Power and Control

An unhealthy relationship is based on power and control rather than equality. Signs include feeling:

• Pressured to do things you don't want to do
• Unable to enjoy activities you used to like
• Prevented from seeing certain friends or family because your partner is unreasonably jealous

Disrespect

Disrespect is never acceptable. It can take the form of:

• Making fun of the other person's opinions or interests
• Destroying something that belongs to them
• Making them feel bad about themselves
• Yelling at them

Physical Force

Using physical force is a severe form of disrespect and is never acceptable in any relationship. It is never OK for anyone to hurt you — with or without intent. If you feel unsafe, take steps to protect yourself immediately.

Unhealthy Dependence

It is natural to enjoy spending time together, but if one person feels they "cannot live without" the other, or threatens to do something drastic if the relationship ends, that is a sign of an unhealthy dynamic. Everyone should maintain their own friendships and interests, even in a romantic relationship.

Step 1: Talk to the Other Person

If you think your relationship has unhealthy behaviours, consider raising it with them directly. Sometimes talking through your feelings and agreeing to change how you treat each other can fix things.

If you have tried talking and:

• Things are not getting better, or
• You feel unsafe or scared to speak up

...it may be time to end the relationship. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect.

Step 2: Get Someone Else's Point of View

If you are unsure what to do, talk to someone you trust — a good listener who has your best interests at heart. This might be a friend, parent, or teacher. Having that person identified can give you the confidence to open up.

Ending a relationship can be hard, but you have the right to do so. Here is how to plan for it:

Before the conversation:

• Write down what you want to say. Be clear that you want to end the relationship.
• Choose a neutral, public place to meet where other people are around.
• Let a friend or family member know where you are going and when to expect you back.

After the breakup:

• Spend time doing things that make you feel good — hobbies, favourite activities, time with close friends.
• The other person should respect your decision.
• If you feel pressured or threatened, talk to a trusted adult immediately.

A positive relationship is built on honest communication, trust, respect, and compassion. It allows both people to be themselves, pursue their interests, and maintain their own friendships.

If something feels wrong, speak up — you deserve to be happy in your relationships.

This article has been reviewed and endorsed by Dr. Nihara Krause, Award-Winning Consultant Clinical Psychologist.