How to talk to (and understand) your teenage daughter.

At Always, we understand that communication between mothers and daughters can sometimes be quite difficult at best, and other times it can seem downright, pull-your-hair-out impossible! With that in mind (and our sense of humor in hand), here are some translations to help you understand what she really means:

"I don't understand why I can't go out with my friends wearing this outfit. What's wrong with it?"

"I really don't understand what's wrong with my outfit. I think it looks cool. I think you're trying to control me. Even if you are concerned about my safety, I think you're overreacting. Please stick to your rules so that I understand my boundaries."

"I need you to buy me this expensive thing that I need SO BAD! Can't you see what a big deal this is to me?"

"I don't even know why I like this item, but I know that lots of other kids have one, and if I have one, I will feel worthy of their friendship. Maybe you could encourage me to identify why I want the item and help me pursue my individuality by learning my true likes and dislikes."

"Brittany's mom lets her stay out late, go places alone, etc."

I wish we shared the same trust that many of my friends seem to share with their parents. What can we do to establish and build upon this trust? I want you to teach me in a way I can understand.

"There's no way I'm eating ice cream... I don't need all those calories!"

Everywhere I look I see women with bodies that give me unrealistic expectations about myself. Boys want to date these girls, and girls want to be them. I will do anything I can to look more like that. Please tell me I look good, because I'm insecure.

"Nothing." (She's giving you the silent treatment)

I really need you to pay attention to me and to my needs. I feel like I already expressed my feelings to you and you ignored me or discounted my emotions. Please take the time and effort to try to understand where I'm coming from.

"I hate you!"

I am feeling smothered, and I need my independence. I am tired of feeling like you would change me if you could. I need you to love me for who I am and who I will be. Please support me in my life path and the decisions I make.